Identity Crisis or The Mellon Collie Baby

My 2 year old daughter is in the midst of a terrible identity crisis.  She has no idea what or who she is, let alone if she even exists.  It started yesterday after she finished applying dinner to her wardrobe and we headed up stairs for a change.

"Come on Messy Girl, lets go check your butt," I said.

"I not messy girl" she replied.

"Okay, but you're still a pretty girl," I said

"I not pretty girl," She answered.  I was sad that at this young age the impossible standard of beauty applied to women had already affected my daughter's self esteem... my 2 year old daughter.

"Okay, but you are a girl," I said.

"No I not a girl."

"A boy?"

"No I not a boy."

"Are you Alex?"

"No I not Alex."

"Are you Alexandra?"

"No I not Alexandra."

This was starting to get confusing.  Who was this little creature that I was taking upstairs to change.  She looked like my daughter.  Sounded like her but in reality I wasn't sure she even existed.  She was not a boy or a girl and she apparently wasn't even Alexandra.  I tried to assess her state of mind as best as I could.

"Are you sad?"

"No I not sad"

"Are you happy?"  Even whipped out a little Pharrel on that one to see if I could get her groovin' a little.

"No I not happy."

"Are you Grumpy?"

"No I not Grumpy." I concluded by this time that she was in fact, not one of the seven dwarfs.  My daughter was a blank slate.  She was neither here nor there.  So I decided to ask which of her stylish G-diapers she would like to wear. 

"White."  Wow!  This was bordering on the fringes of extreme Neutrality.  She was downright Swiss.  Usually she wants purple, or blue or red or green... any number of colors, but never white.  I grabbed a pink one in hopes of reigniting her spirit.  Though not happy, she smiled and at least seemed like herself.

"That's my baby girl," I said.

"No I not baby girl." 

"Let's go Gorgeous."

"No I not gorgeous."

So I took her downstairs, where we waited for her mother to get home.  Afterwards, while Tiffany ate and Alex ran around tormenting her brother as she usually dose, Tiffany said "Alex calm down." 

"I not Alex." she replied.

"Then where did Alex go?"

"I'm Right here momma!"  Its obvious the girl is confused, and unsure of herself. 

I can only imagine what her teen years will be like!